The Day The Edds' Go Off The Edge
by Trivaz-IzzetGuildmage
Summary: (chap.4) Rolf VS. Ed
1. The begining of the end

The day the Eds went off the edge  
  
  
  
  
  
One fine day (A/n after one of their latest hi-jinx, pick you own.) in the boring little cul-de-sac in which they call home, Eddy said, "If I hear Sara's loud mouth, Kevin's annoying dork taunts, or Jimmy's annoying whine, one more time, I'm just gonna-----"  
  
At that time, Sara a.k.a. Satan, yelled, "Ed! Mom said to clean your room so me and Jimmy can play in there!" (Jimmy's heard whining, "Yeah, you had better do it now!")  
  
Kevin rides by and says, "My, what a dork fest!"  
  
Steam is seen coming out of Eddy's ears. Double D's eyes turn bright red. Ed is cleaning his room and talking about gravy and buttered toast. "That's it!" Eddy yelled. "Come on, Double D, we need to call my brother."  
  
"But Eddy----"  
  
"They'll pay for this." Eddy began laughing maniacally. He keeps on laughing until Double D slaps him. "Oh, sorry. I got a little carried away."  
  
"That's OK, Eddy." They go to Eddy's place. While he is looking for his address book to find his brother's phone number, Ed comes over.  
  
"All done cleaning my room, guys. I found a piece of buttered toast under my bed. It's a little moldy but it's still good." He then eats the piece of moldy toast.  
  
"That's unsanitary, Ed."  
  
"But Double D, I knew where it was!"  
  
"Aha!" Eddy exclaims. "Here it is!" He held up a little address book. He began to flip through it until he found his brother's phone number. " You call him Double D."  
  
"Me? He's your brother."  
  
"Do you want me to make you pay, too?"  
  
"No, no, Eddy. I was just kidding." Double D grabbed the phone, address book, and began to dial. "Um, is this Eddy's brother? It's his friend."  
  
"Oh, yeah, you're Double Dweeb, right?"  
  
Double D gave Eddy an evil look and mouthed, 'What have you been telling him?' He said to Eddy's brother, " We would like to make a few kids pay in the cal-de-sac and we were wondering if you could help us?"  
  
"Yeah, I think I could. Hang on, I'll send you some things."  
  
A delivery pulls up outside..  
  
  
  
A/n Boy what a cliff-hanger, huh? Send me you're reviews. No flames, it's my first fic. 


	2. Kevin gets his

Chapter 2 Kevin gets his  
  
  
  
(A/n In this chapter we see the more tender side of Kevin.get splattered all over the pavement!)  
  
As the mail delivery truck pulled up, Eddy raced out to greet the mailman, with Ed trailing and Double D far behind. The mailman said, "What are you kids up to?" in a joking tone of voice.  
  
Eddy took it the wrong way and put the mailman into a headlock. "How much do you know? Huh? Did Kevin put you up to this?"  
  
"Eddy, please." Double D said, "I can't believe you'd even think the mailman would be in cahoots with Kevin."  
  
"Double of the D, I did not understand one of the single words that came from your mouth." Ed said, dumbfoundly.  
  
"No you wouldn't would you, moron? I am so sick of your stupidness. Your gonna get it now!!! Here, have this pocket dictionary so you can understand me more clearly." Ed breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
"HAHAHA!!! I've got it all planned out, boys. Tonight we're gonna be really busy."  
  
The next day.  
  
"Hey, who stole my bike!? I bet it was one of those dorky Edd's that did it!  
  
As Kevin pondered, Eddy saw his chance to strike. He knew that he would have to be stealthy and quiet until he got close enough to make the hit.  
  
Eddy (after getting as close as possible to Kevin with him noticing) said, "Hey Kev, who's the dork now?" And with that eddy took the 0.9-millimeter with a silencer that his brother had sent him and shot Kevin square in that giant forehead of his.  
  
  
  
At that moment someone else was about to get theirs. 


	3. Sarah and Jimmy's Turn

Chapter 3  
  
Sarah and Jimmy's turn  
  
(A/n This one is gonna get your attention for sure! It won't be as gruesome as I want to make it, but there are little kids watching R/R. No flames. They will be farted on or used to get rid of junkmail.)  
  
  
  
Jimmy and Sara were sitting in the sandbox playing with their dollies and other assorted feminine things. Just then, Ed, Edd, and Eddy stuck into the bushes.  
  
"Now, it's my turn for some fun." Double D said, laughing maniacally. He pulled a remote control out of his pocket. He pushed a button and Sara was sucked into the depths of the sandbox. She was heard screaming and tigers were heard growling and ripping her apart.  
  
"Don't tell Mom Baby Sister!"  
  
"Ed, she's dead."  
  
"My tiger trap has worked out perfectly." Double D laughed maniacally once again. "My tigers haven't been fed in months. I'm sure they enjoyed that, even though it was a little rotten."  
  
"Sara?" Jimmy whined. "Sara, where are you?" He reached for one of his dolls. The air was filled with an explosion and Jimmy bits.  
  
The next day.  
  
"Oh my great goodness, who would do this to the son of a shepherd?! I have never seen a horror like this since the last time Rolf was required to boil the sweat out of Nano's undergarments"  
  
  
  
(A/n What should we do to Rolf? Send in your suggestions.) 


	4. Rolf's surprise

Chapter 4  
  
Rolf's surprise  
  
  
  
(A/n This one is longer because you asked. I'm using a suggestion that was written to me. I would just like to thank PeachyKeen for this gruesome suggestion to add to the crazy Edd's saga.)  
  
  
  
(This is where we left off)  
  
"Oh my great goodness, who would do this to the son of a shepherd?! I have never seen a horror like this since the last time Rolf was required to boil the sweat out of Nano's undergarments" Rolf was heard saying as he came upon the dead bodies of six chickens.  
  
"I told Papa there was a curse on this farm before we bought it."  
  
The chickens were killed by first, being boiled alive. Then they were skinned. Afterwards, their skinless bodies were wrapped in pudding skins and doused in gravy. (Wonder who could have done that?)  
  
"Ed, was all that Really necessary?" Double D said in a disgusted tone of voice. "I only told you to scare the boy before we killed him, not make him sick. Besides, I thought you were gonna eat the pudding skins."  
  
"You dare challenge the whims of Evil Tim? He told me to save the pudding skins. Besides, no one in their right mind would eat pudding skins."  
  
Ed, you never have been in your right mind, what made you start now?" Eddy replied dryly.  
  
The next day.  
  
"Who in the rightness of their mind could do such a horrible thing? My poor Wilfred, you died before your time. These tragic events in Rolf's life make him yearn for the home country"  
  
(Wilfred the pig was killed in the same manner as the chickens were)  
  
"Ed, this appears very much like a novel I read one time. The killer plays mind games with his victims by slowly killing their pets in the same fashion he eventually kills his victims in." Edd says in a tone of admiration.  
  
"How did you guess, you little dickens?"  
  
This statement brings a grin to both Eddy's and Edd's face.  
  
"That is the funniest thing you've said in two weeks, lumpy." Eddy said while trying to suppress his growing laughter, " I should know, I actually keep a log of all the times that you make me laugh."  
  
Double D instantly stopped laughing. "That's disturbing." He said. With this they all stopped laughing instantly.  
  
The next day.  
  
"Oh no," Rolf whispered "not him. Any one but him. VICTOR, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." (Victor, of course was killed in the same manner as the other animals.)  
  
"You should have taken me instead!" Rolf exclaimed while sobbing. As Rolf finished his last statement, Ed silently stalked out of the bushes.  
  
Later that day, Rolf's "greatnano" returned from town after her daily back scrub. (She has to pay extra just to get someone to touch her back) She came home to Rolf's skinless body and let out a blood curdling shriek. From the other side of the cul-de-sac, the Eds heard just this.  
  
"So," Said Double D coldly "Who's next on the list, Eddy?"  
  
  
  
(A/n so tell me who to kill next) 


End file.
